Trouble in Paradise Chapter 2
I opened my mailbox and my heart jumped when I discovered the lengthy e-mail with a bunch of attachments that had been forwarded to me thanks to my stunt.
Dear Katherine,I am sending you everything as promised. The first attachment deals with the medical and psychological protocols and possible side effects that could occur should you not follow my recommendations. But don’t worry; we’ll make sure nothing bad happens. As long as you keep listening to my advice, you and William will get the best treatment possible.
I quickly opened the first attachment and it was just pages and pages of gibberish medical documentation that didn’t make any sense to me. Hmmm, looked like too much effort, maybe there would be time for that later. I got back to reading.
I was glad to hear that your partner is responding well to the initial relaxation treatment. You can now add these files to his sessions. Both of our voices are incorporated in them. Yours as the person he trusts and loves and mine—as a figure of authority he acknowledged himself. With these, he should be able to break some of those barriers and preconceptions in his mind. A couple of weeks of regular listening to these should help him to prepare for the next stage. Just make sure he listens to these in a safe and controlled environment; the more time he spends with the relaxing melody, the better.
Luckily for you, William can work from home, which means he should be able to train at least twice a day, which should increase the effectiveness compared only to evening and nightly sessions. In the following file, I have outlined the schedule we should stick to and potential obstacles. Please read them carefully and check those files if everything is in order. We’ll get in touch in a few weeks and proceed from there. Blah, blah, blah...
Most of this was boring but the second attached document looked much more interesting. The things they were proposing and planning—were they really possible? Using positive affirmations to this extent? I never knew methods like these existed. Then I ed the audio files and gave them a quick listen. They were of high quality for sure and a little different than I expected. More subtle in fact. I was genuinely curious about Will’s sexual life and problems at first, but now I saw a totally different opportunity.
“Okay, let’s do this again and properly,” I sat down with a cup of coffee and a bag of chips and opened the medical document again. I had to understand this thing and I needed to understand it perfectly.
I spent days trapped in that rabbit hole. Turns out you can’t really understand a complex psychological method by just reading the brief summary which a large language model generates for you. Trust me, I tried and then went back. I read through those attached documents again, got the books they referenced and then ended up borrowing even more study material.
I was pretty lucky that my last job paid so well that I could take a break like this and my next deadline was due in about a month, so I was able to immerse myself in this fully and realized that it wasn’t a total hogwash. The whole process was a combination of conditioning, positive affirmations, and repetitions, and it was all made possible only because they had a willing subject who wanted to change and overcome his problems.
According to every study I read, it certainly wasn’t a magical solution; it was quite the opposite in fact—a slow and complicated process, that would eventually produce some results if adhered to. However, there was a huge disclaimer and the method also came with a big list of warnings and potential side effects.
There were apparently things that could go wrong if the techniques were executed improperly, rushed or modified beyond recommended parameters. And these effects looked like the most interesting things about this whole affair. Once I wrapped my head around them, I returned to my studies with renewed vigor. There was a way to exploit this method, of that I was sure, but I just needed to find my way in. I looked at the schedule, listened to the audio files again, and then it hit me. Was my recording equipment still around?
This was the second week of having the house entirely to myself and I kind of enjoyed that. I genuinely loved Katie, but at the same time, I still liked being alone and unwinding in a different way than we did together. Normally I would probably fire up the Xbox or go for a walk, but my schedule was much stricter these days, so after I finished up with my morning workload, I lay down on the couch in my living room, fired up the sound system, and started the first session of the day.
It always began the same way, with the relaxing melody and the words came in much later. But it took only a few tones for me to immediately feel the tension leaving my body. I was already a month into this thing and there was no longer any conscious need from my side. Once the music started playing, my mind became malleable and all my worries faded away. It was almost like a spell of some kind. I didn’t wait for any prompt and started with my mantras.
“This melody will always calm me down.”
It was amazing how much that worked. Whatever I used to be angry or riled up about during these last weeks was instantly forgotten once I started my session. It helped me soothe my nerves and blocked everything bad in my life. It made it so easy to do this again and again, because I just felt that good after finishing.
“This melody will always make me feel safe.”
Although I was pretty successful in my life according to other people, I always used to feel inadequate and insecure; I tried to push myself beyond my limits and often ended up totally drained. This was the first time in my life, when I didn’t need to worry and could just be safe and content with myself.
“Hearing this melody will always remind me that I am among friends.”
My insecurity always made me standoffish when it came to building close and personal relationships. This process was helping me to trust in the people around me more and let them into my personal space. I had already managed to overcome a lot of minor issues and the longer I listened, the easier it was to open up.
“Hearing this melody will always make me more receptive and agreeable.”
This sentence unsettled me at first, but I was well aware that it was there to help me let other people in. I needed to weaken my suspicions and reluctance and let other people in. I had to trust in their good intentions and their efforts to help me. I knew that both Kathy and Danielle were trying to help me and I needed to be open to their advice and suggestions.
The repeating of my mantras took quite some time, but it was already so automatic, that I didn’t even need to focus on it. Each repetition made me calmer and more receptive for the next part. I couldn’t say how long it took, but when the voices from the speaker came, I stopped repeating and just listened to them, perfectly content and tranquil.
“These voices are here to help you,” I recognized Kathy’s voice, assuring me that everything was going to be okay.
“These voices are here to help you,” this time it was repeated by Danielle, implying that I was still in professional hands.
Repeating my mantras was almost automatic, but I still had to speak and produce at least some kind of activity. But when the voices came, I was finally able to relax completely and just go with the flow.
“These voices belong to your friends,” Kathy spoke in a soft tone that made her voice incredibly pleasant to listen to.
“These voices belong to your friends,” Danielle’s voice was calm, well-paced and it just oozed confidence.
It was inaccurate to say that I listened to these words. I was already so deep, that I was simply aware of them and they just flowed straight through me. I didn’t need to do anything, I didn’t need to concentrate on them, just relaxing and listening to them was enough.
“You want to listen to the voices of your friends,” Kathy’s voice became a whisper in the background.
“You want to listen to the voices of your friends,” Danielle also became quieter and I was barely able to hear her words.
There were even more things said after that, but as per usual, I drifted so deep into a relaxation, that I wasn’t even sure what they were. I felt calm, relaxed and I was in a safe space where nothing could hurt me and I was surrounded by my closest friends. I just kept floating, knowing well that the voices would take good care of me.
The last phase of my relaxation was always the same—the voices slowly faded away and I was left with only the calming melody playing from my sound system, making sure that I was coming back slowly and comfortably.
This time however I realized there was also this weird tapping sound coming from somewhere and for a moment, I wasn’t able to tell if it was really happening or if that was only my imagination. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the wall clock. There was still more than half an hour remaining from the relaxation and the soothing melody still echoed through the room. The quiet but insistent tapping sound came from the direction of our backyard and I turned my head towards the tinted glass door.
There was a slender silhouette behind it and I realized that it was the source of that sound—tapping a finger on the glass door. Normally I would probably be unsettled by someone coming from back there, since our yard was fenced in, but it didn’t look like the person was in any way aggressive. I reluctantly got up and went to open the door.
“Iris? What are you doing here?” I asked confusedly.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you, but I just wanted to ask if I could talk with you for a few minutes?”
I looked at the girl, trying to put my thoughts together. I wondered why she was here and how she had gotten into our backyard, but at the same time I was just surprised to see her after all this time.
She used to always be elegant and that remained to be true even now. Her hair was dyed midnight-black and styled into an asymmetrical lob haircut. She also had a deep violet dress on that made her even more stylish and her look was finished with tastefully chosen golden jewelry. All and all she looked incredibly cute as always.
We used to be close for a long time, but it all changed when I got together with my Kathy. Iris never got over it and the last time we saw each other, she tried to get me drunk and cheat on my girlfriend with her. Well, that wasn’t entirely precise—she tried to talk with me a couple of times after that, but I was so angry at her, that I couldn’t even see her face and I threw her out.
All those memories were flowing through my head and I felt the familiar anger returning. It wasn’t as strong as usual though and before I could act upon the feeling, it slowly faded away. The soothing melody was still playing from the sound system and it was calming me down like a magic spell. My first impulse was to throw Iris out, but the urge vanished quickly and I stood there in silence, unsure of what I should do.
“Please, Will,” she pleaded. “Just give me a couple of minutes, I’m not planning anything stupid. You are perfectly safe.”
I watched her face and there was a whole plethora of emotions in there—uncertainty, nervousness, guilt and maybe hope. She genuinely wasn’t sure that coming here was a good idea and I could tell. But at the same time, I was inclined to agree with her. This was my home and I didn’t need to be worried about her.
“Yeah, I am safe,” I nodded. “Come on in, but just for a few minutes.”
“Thank you.”
I closed the door behind her and took a step to the sound system, wanting to turn the music off, but she stopped me by putting her hand on my forearm and turning me back to face her.
“I’m sorry, Will. I wanted to tell you that right in the beginning and I have wanted to apologize to you for a long time. I did wrong by you and I screwed up big time. I never wanted to hurt you, because you were always my best friend.”
I stood still, surprised by the sudden burst of her words. The sound system was forgotten now and I looked at Iris, trying to determine her intentions. She always had a manipulative side to her, but that was a long time ago. I didn’t feel threatened by her at the moment. In fact, I was perfectly calm.
“I know that I’m probably asking a lot,” she continued with her plea. “But it would mean the world to me if you could forgive me and we could put all those bad things behind us. Just how close we were. I know we are a long way from getting there, but I would be honored, if you considered me to be your friend again.”
That was a long shot for sure. Even if I was to forgive her right now, there would be a lot of ground to cover before I could be that close to her, if ever. Still, I was reminded of how much time we had spent together and for the first time in a long while, I ed how much stuff we used to do together back then and how enjoyable it was.
“I guess we can start working on that again,” I replied slowly, still not sure about my decision. “On me forgiving you I mean. It will take some time for you to earn my trust again.”
“Thank you,” she squeezed my forearm gratefully. “I couldn’t really ask for more from you. I’ll earn your trust again, Will. I’ll make sure of it. I just hope in time, when you are around me, you’ll feel like you are among friends.”
Her words made me pause for a second. The soothing melody was still playing in the background and the familiar formulation just pulled at something inside my mind.
“I am among friends,” I repeated automatically.
“Right?” Iris nodded with a smile. “Don’t you feel it right now? Feel reminded that you are among friends?”
I watched her face and her smile, but it was like my brain barely noticed what I was looking at, because it was already thinking about the familiar words. The soothing melody was playing and I felt calm and safe.
“I am among friends,” I repeated again. I was sure about that, the melody reminded me of the fact.
“So, you don’t mind if I come to see you again and talk? That’s what friends do and I need to make up everything to you.”
“I guess?” I responded with some measure of unease. I wasn’t keen on seeing her soon after her barging into my life so suddenly, but at the same time, she was right—friends talked and I understood her need to make things better.
“So how about we meet next week at the same time. I could come here again, so you can feel safe and unbothered. That does sound good, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, it does,” I nodded. It wasn’t like I wanted to invite her into my home, but what she said made sense, I did feel safe and calm here, so it was easier to agree with her.
“Great, thank you very much, Will. You are the best,” she smiled. “Just one more thing. I also need to apologize to Katherine, because I hate myself for hurting her, is she around?”
I was genuinely surprised by her offer. It really looked like she meant to do better now and I was impressed.
“No,” I shook my head. “Unfortunately, she will be away for maybe two more weeks.”
“Oh, that is bad,” Iris frowned. “Would you mind keeping this meeting a secret until then? I really want to do this myself, to apologize to her and make a fresh start.”
“I don’t like keeping secrets from her.”
“Just this once, Will, please. I want to make everything right again, you don’t need to worry about anything. You can feel safe about this decision.”
“Feel safe, yeah,” I nodded, calming down a little. “Okay, but just this once.”
“Thank you again, Will. I won’t bother you anymore. Just one more thing—I forgot my phone. Can I borrow yours to call myself a cab?”
I couldn’t believe how well it worked in the end. I had to crawl over the fence and I was terrified that he would call the cops on me right at that moment. I even saw the flash of annoyance in his eyes, but it was like he wasn’t even able to sustain it. As long as that conditioning music of his played, William was in power saving mode.
He wasn’t made entirely stupid by it and a wrong step could still rile him up and possibly even snap him out of the state, so I had to walk a thin line, but that’s why I chose the time when he was in his most vulnerable state and memorized his phrases to exploit him. And I made sure that my behavior seemed to align with my alleged intentions. He had to believe that I was here to apologize to both of them and atone for my transgressions.
As long as it made sense in his mind, I could keep up the illusion and use that song of his against him. Though it was a really fragile balance and me asking him to keep all this a secret was really walking the line. All the documentation I read about this assured me that it was possible, but also highly risky. When he agreed to that, I was halfway there already and when he allowed me alone time with that unlocked phone of his, I almost wanted to run around screaming in glee. But I stopped myself, calmly stepped out, and while I pretended to call a cab, I quickly scanned the device for the thing I was looking for. It took only about five seconds to replace those files after that and I left Will’s house after that, making sure to be gone before his relaxation time fully ran out.
When the melody stopped playing, I was still sitting on the chair with a phone in my hand, which was quite different from the usual experience, when I slowly woke up, lying on the couch. It was of course because Iris interrupted my session and I briefly wondered about her presence possibly hindering my progress. But that felt stupid—I had been doing this for weeks; one instance probably couldn’t change anything.
Then I thought about her appearance and plea for forgiveness. That was certainly a surprise, but she really seemed like she meant it and I was inclined to give her a chance. At the moment she said it, I didn’t think it weird, but as my senses grew sharper, I started to have some reservations about the thing. My first instinct was to call her and let her know that this whole thing was off, but I wasn’t a guy who broke his word easily, so I decided to hear what more she could say to her defense.
I wanted to spend little a more time thinking about it, but it was already time for my afternoon batch of work and it looked like this time I got a big assignment. So I started slowly tackling the task one step at a time and when I was finished, I felt completely drained and exhausted. I stepped into the shower and just enjoyed a couple of minutes of warm water running over my muscles.
The only thing that did was to make me even more sleepy, so I quickly hit the bed, plugged my phone into a charger and put my earbuds in. I liked headphones more, but these didn’t fall out if I moved around and it took some time to figure out. Now I was already used to them and they provided the audio in awesome quality. I opened my night playlist and it looked weird—like some of the files were missing or corrupted, but when I checked the folder, they were still there, so the app was probably just acting up. I moved them back into a playlist and hit play.
My ears were again filled with the soothing, relaxing melody and this time it was pure, undisturbed by the sounds of my surroundings. I was instantly comforted by that sound and started with my mantras again.
“This melody will always calm me down…”
I kept repeating them again and again, feeling even better and somehow managing to not fall asleep before the voices came. I was perfectly calm, tranquil and open to the experience as always.
“These voices are here to help you,” hearing Kathy’s voice always soothed me even more.
“These voices are here to help you,” and Danielle was there to ensure me the process was going according to the plan.
“These voices are here to help you.”
The third repetition came as a surprise, but it didn’t really rattle me in my relaxed state. I was always so deep by the time these voices came in that I couldn’t tell if I missed it or just forgot about it being there.
“These voices belong to your friends,” Kathy continued assuring me everything was just fine.
“These voices belong to your friends,” and Danielle radiated professional certainty.
“These voices belong to your friends.”
The third repetition was there again, but I couldn’t quite place the voice. But it had to be in the file for some reason so I wasn’t bothered by it.
“You want to listen to the voices of your friends,” Kathy made her voice more pleading now.
“You want to listen to the voices of your friends,” while Danielle’s repetition sounded like an order in comparison.
“You want to listen to the voices of your friends.”
The third voice was familiar, but I still couldn’t quite place it. It fitted into the recording perfectly and there was a convincing tone to it.
“You need to trust these voices,” I could hear the urgency in Kathy’s voice.
“You need to trust these voices,” while Danielle made her sentence a simple statement.
“You need to trust these voices.”
I tried to recognize the voice again, but I was simply too tired to puzzle it out. The only thing I was sure about was that I had to listen to the voices and trust their words. Maybe I would be able to recognize the third voice when I would listen to this tomorrow, or the day after that. It didn’t matter, because the voices and melody slowly soothed me into sleep, while they kept repeating the same messages again and again…