The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

August 28th

I know it is probably ridiculous to feel stressed before classes have even started, but here I am anyway.

I spent most of today getting ready for the semester: going through course pages, writing down deadlines, organizing my calendar, and trying to make everything look manageable if I arrange it neatly enough. It helped, a little. At least now I know what is coming.

I want to do well this term. Really well. I always do, but this semester feels especially important. I need to stay on top of my reading from the beginning, speak more in seminars, and stop waiting until I have the perfect thing to say before saying anything at all. I know I can handle it if I stay disciplined. I am organized, I am serious, and I am the kind of girl who can keep everything under control.

Adam laughed at how intense I was being about color-coding everything, which was fair. He starts his psychology classes next week too, at the same university, and he seems so much calmer about it than I am. I think that is one of the things I like most about him. Being around Adam always makes everything feel a little quieter somehow. I am really glad we’ll be on the same campus this year. It makes the whole start-of-semester thing feel a little less lonely.

The only annoying thing is that I have been sleeping badly these last couple of weeks. I keep waking up too early with my brain already running through everything I need to do, which is not exactly helpful at four in the morning.

Still, if I start well, I should be fine. I just need to keep on top of things from the beginning.

September 1st

Today was my first day back, and it was such a relief to finally be on campus again instead of just thinking about it.

The best part was seeing Rachel and Kelly. I had forgotten how much easier everything feels when they’re there. We all had coffee before class and immediately slipped back into the same rhythm, which honestly made the whole day feel much less intimidating. I think I had been carrying more start-of-semester tension than I realized.

That said, not everything was reassuring.

In literature, I’ve been seated near a girl named Brittany, and I already feel doomed. She barely paid attention for the entire class. She just kept giggling, twirling her hair, and flirting with the boys around her like we were at some kind of party instead of an actual lecture. I know I probably sound harsh, but I genuinely do not understand how anyone expects to get through university like that.

On the other hand, I had a really important conversation with Professor Hale from the history department, and I’m still trying to process it. He offered me the chance to major in not one, but two subjects this year, which means I’ll have to write two theses. It’s an enormous amount of work and probably a slightly insane thing to agree to, but it’s also an incredible opportunity, and I said yes. How could I not?

Now that I’m actually writing it down, it does sound a little terrifying.

Still, I know what this means. It means more pressure, more reading, more deadlines, and almost no room for mistakes. But it also means I’m being taken seriously, and that matters to me more than I can explain.

Adam came over tonight with flowers and a bottle of wine, which was so sweet I almost cried from sheer exhaustion. We ate, talked about our first day back, and for a little while I could actually breathe. I honestly do not know how I would make it through this year without him.

September 3rd

Today felt long.

Classes were fine, or at least fine in the sense that nothing went wrong, but I already feel like I’m running slightly ahead of myself all the time. By the afternoon I was in the library trying to get through some reading, and my migraine came back. Not terribly, but enough to make everything feel tight and bright and difficult. I’ve also still not been sleeping well since the semester started, which probably isn’t helping.

I’m trying not to be dramatic about it. It’s probably just the pressure. Taking on the two theses sounded exciting when Professor Hale offered it, and I still know it was an amazing opportunity, but now that classes are actually underway, I keep wondering whether it was a mistake to say yes so quickly.

Adam came over this evening and found me in a very bad mood, lying on my bed with the lights off like some kind of Victorian invalid. Instead of letting me complain for an hour, he suggested we try a guided breathing exercise. He said it might help if I could get out of my own head for a little while.

I honestly did not expect much from it, but it was nice. It didn’t completely get rid of the migraine, but it did help. Mostly it made me feel quieter. My shoulders unclenched, my breathing slowed down, and by the end I felt so relaxed I almost didn’t want to move.

Which is probably a sign that I need to learn how to relax properly before this semester kills me.

September 4th

I was tired for most of the day, but fortunately the classes themselves were interesting enough to keep me going.

History was especially good. We were discussing early modern Europe, and despite how little sleep I have had lately, I actually felt fully engaged for most of the lecture. It was one of those rare moments where the material is compelling enough to cut through sheer exhaustion, which I appreciated more than I can say.

Brittany, however, continues to be exasperating.

At one point Professor Hale asked a very straightforward question—what the main purpose of the Peace of Westphalia had been—and Brittany answered that it was “when kings started losing power because of the Industrial Revolution.” The answer was so completely irrelevant that there was a brief, awful silence afterward. Rachel, Kelly, and I all looked at each other immediately. I know it is unkind, but I honestly cannot understand how someone can be so inattentive and so unconcerned by it. She simply laughed as though saying something absurd in class were charming.

Perhaps I am being unfair. I was already tired and irritable by then.

My migraine came back toward the end of the day, which is beginning to concern me. It was not severe, but it was enough to bring back that familiar pressure behind my eyes and make everything feel overly bright and slightly unbearable. I tried doing the breathing exercise Adam showed me, and it did help somewhat, but it was much harder without him there. I kept losing concentration and could not settle into it properly.

Still, I suppose the fact that it helped at all is encouraging.

I really do need to learn how to relax.

September 7th

Thank God it is finally the weekend.

This week has felt much longer than it should have, and I already know I would not have made it through it nearly as well without Adam. My migraines have been a constant problem these past few days. Not always unbearable, but persistent enough to make everything more difficult than it needed to be. I have been tired, irritable, and far less patient than usual, which is never a good combination.

Adam came over each of the last three nights and led me through the breathing and meditation exercise again. I still feel slightly ridiculous writing that down, because it sounds like the sort of thing I normally would not have much patience for, but it really has helped. Not perfectly, and not instantly, but enough that I can feel the difference afterward every single time. My head feels less crowded, my shoulders loosen, and the pain becomes much easier to bear.

Honestly, I am not sure what I would have done without him. That may sound dramatic, but I truly think I would have ended up at the hospital by now if he had not been helping me manage this. At the very least, I would have been a great deal more miserable.

He told me tonight that he has a surprise for me tomorrow evening, which of course means I have spent the last hour wondering what it might be. I am sure it is something sweet. He has been so thoughtful lately that I almost do not know what I did to deserve him.

I am very eager to find out.

September 8th

It is Saturday morning, and I honestly think last night may have been one of the best nights of my life.

I am so lucky to have Adam. There really is no doubt in my mind now that I love him.

I had actually thought about cancelling because I was tired and my head had been bothering me again, but he came over anyway and helped me do the breathing and meditation exercise like he has the last few nights. This time it was different somehow. Maybe I was more tired, or maybe I was finally learning how to let go, but by the end of it my headache had disappeared completely. I could hardly believe it.

I felt so light afterward. Calm, warm, almost floaty. It was such a relief after the kind of week I’ve had that I think I could have cried from gratitude alone.

Adam seemed pleased that it had worked so well, and we stayed close afterward, just talking for a while, and then not talking very much at all. I don’t know how to explain it properly except to say that I felt more relaxed with him than I ever have before, and because of that, everything else felt easier too. I wasn’t tense or self-conscious or stuck in my own head the way I usually am.

By the end of the night, I wanted him very badly, and I was not shy about it. I am almost embarrassed to write that, but it is true. And it was amazing. Easily the best sex I’ve ever had, though ittedly that is not a very competitive category.

Now I need to stop thinking about last night and focus on work, because I have a presentation due tomorrow for my English Revolution class, and no amount of being in love is going to get that done for me.

September 9th

I felt like I needed to write again tonight because I have been thinking about last night almost all day.

I talked to Adam about it earlier, mostly because I wanted to understand why everything felt so different since yesterday. It was not just that I was relaxed. It was more than that, and I knew it. After a little hesitation, he itted that when he was helping me with the breathing exercise, he tried a hypnosis technique he has been learning about in one of his psychology classes. He said he thought it might help with the migraine, and apparently it did, because my headache vanished completely.

I did not quite know what to say to that.

He also itted that while I was in that deeply relaxed state, he gave me a suggestion meant to make me feel even more loose, warm, and responsive afterward. He said he was curious whether it would work. That is the part that upset me.

At first, I was honestly angry. Or at least I think I was. It is a strange thing to hear that someone was able to affect you that way without fully telling you beforehand. I felt a little betrayed, if I am being honest. And a little frightened. Not because Adam seemed cruel about it—he did not—but because it forced me to realize he may be able to reach me in ways I do not fully understand.

That should make this simple. I should just be furious.

The problem is that I cannot pretend it did not feel incredible. That is what makes this so confusing. I did feel good. More than good. I felt lighter and looser and more open than I can feeling in a very long time. And now that the initial shock has worn off, I am left with the much more complicated truth, which is that part of me is not only unsettled by the idea that he had that kind of power on me.

I think a part of me is turned on by it.

I almost hate writing that down, but it is true.

I do not know what that says about me, exactly. Only that I need to think about what happened, and about what the next step is, if there even should be one.