Excessive Shorts, Camping
ok, that’s two down, one more wish
ok, my girlfriend, when we are planning things, from now on occasionally i am going to suggest a completely disproportionate and unreasonable compromise, and when i do i wish that she will not recognise it as that, she will see it as a fair suggestion, clever even, like i’ve cut the gordion knot
[six months later]
can we go camping this summer?
i dunno the mosquitos ate me alive last time, it ruined the experience
we’ll get good mosquito repellent, i can investigate the best things we can do to prevent that, i promise
i dunno, i’m not convinced, lots of other things went wrong that last time
we just need to prepare properly for the trip! we know what went wrong now and so we know what we need to fix, we can do it!
hmmm, ok, how about, we go camping, you investigate the mosquito thing, we start writing a list of everything that went wrong last time, and start doing the research on preventing them, aaaaannnnnndd you get breast implants
“.....”
honey?
no, i’m just thinking, that’s ... good, really good, it’s simple, it works, we can do this. oh my god we will have such good fun this time, i promise
but i mean, [raising eyebrow and cocking head], you know, big ones, like really fake looking too, maybe i should help decide
thank you so much! [big hug] this is so cool! just like that time we agreed who i could spend time with!
[hugging, stroking hair, laughing, maybe a bit too loud] or the time you agreed i should have complete control over your orgasms
[falsetto voice, happily, still hugging tightly] yyeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh
[barely able to contain himself] hahahahaaaaa ah haha [wiping a tear away] oh my god!
[breaking off the hug to look at him quizzically, then smiling] you’re funny
[calming down] aah ha ahh [wiping another tear] ok, ok, i’m good, ha! you know me
that’s right, i [playfully punches arm] know you. ha ok, i know already what kind of tent we should get and ...
now hang on, here’s the order we should do things, we should start making a list of everything we need to get right for camping, but each of those problems will be quick to solve. but your boob job will take longer , both to plan and to heal, we need to start working on that first
ok, huh, but i don’t even know where to begin, i’ve literally never thought about this kind of thing before, ever
right, so it is important to get a good doctor, but not every doctor will want to perform any surgery. you start by investigating potential surgeons, look for people with a good track record and reputation, that specialize in, uh ... [mimes two hefty breasts on his chest], you know? this is important to get right, so you don’t need to stay local in your search
ok, i’ll do that
meanwhile i’ll start compiling pictures that you can show doctors of the types of boobs you want, you know figuring out dimensions and profile and the like
[excitedly clapping hands together in front of her chest] yay!
[four months later]
[posting] hey everyone, new profile pic!